Reasons why I probably won't be getting married, SORRY MOM

I believe every piece of nonfiction writing I put on this site needs a little bit of background. This way anyone reading it can truly understand where it is I'm coming from as a person and a writer. I grew up in a two parent christian household in the true blue south, Mississippi. That right there should let anyone reading this gather all the misconceptions and stereotypes they want about what it is we southern women want in life. Now on to the title of this post.

1. I like many little girls have grown up picturing how I want my life to be. That picture has met a lot of change and I'm currently at the age where I'm working towards that dream. In that dream I make a difference and I take care of those that I love and care about. I also keep my maiden name in all of the scenarios in which I'm actually grown and not just playing at it. I've come to picture my life in a realistic tone and in some cases a cross your fingers hope for the best tone; and it's after actually looking at all of these dreams I realized I don't ever picture a significant other present by my side. I picture accolades and speeches, but never a wedding ring.
2. The only time I think about actually having a significant other it's part of a completely different dream. I've grown up in a time when young girls are told they can do absolutely anything they desire. That message is also then met with a contradiction that I can have absolutely anything as long as a man is not threatened by it. Now I know this isn't all men, the problem is having a cisgender male partner still comes with archaic drawbacks that will hinder by dreams for his.
3. I don't believe in blind fidelity. Okay now, this one tends to make people think I'm crazy. No relationship style is perfect, but to not acknowledge the imperfections is just ignoring a growing problem. In my mind it's not possible for someone to remain blindly faithful to one person. My faith tends to play in role in why people think I'm crazy for believing this but hear, or in this case read, me out. I don't believe that a person and can be with someone and not face temptation. So, you're telling me that any guy I decide to marry will only ever look at me and never want to be with anyone else ever throughout the entirety of our marriage. Until death. Okay yeah Barbra I believe that one.
4. Lastly, and this is the most important one, I'm a handful. I'm sardonic, morbid, caustically honest, and in all honesty a real annoying pain. I overthink little details, can be pretentious, obnoxious, and just a plain ass. The idea that I'm going to find someone who can truly deal with me will be a complete Act of God. My God is powerful, mighty, and can do just about anything, but to believe that they have someone meant for me and I'm going to find them by the time I'm in my 30s is unlikely. I have a tendency to get on my own parents nerves and they're suppose to tolerate me!! WHAT MAKE YOU PEOPLE THINK I'M GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T RAISE AND GIVE ME LIFE WILLING BE WITH ME FOR A LIFETIME.

But who knows what may happen, I'm only 19, and I've never dated or acted on any crush I've ever had. So maybe I get a bit more courage or someone likes me and acts on that then the idea won't seem so far-fetched. I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if I'll ever get married but there's a lot of doubts that it's actually in the cards at all.